12 March 2006

Fun Facts About the Canadian Military

H/T the discussion boards over at Brain Terminal.

Canada spends less than $265 per capita in military spending (the worst among major NATO members, with the average being $600 and the US spending over $1000). They make up for it in health care, which they will need when their heinies get shot up.

Today, the Canadian Navy has only 34 ships (compared to the 300 they had at the end of WWII), 22 of which still need a good breeze to move them.

Further Canadian Military ASSets consist of 140 aircraft (rubber-band powered), and 59,000 personnel (mostly armed with shovels and Range-Rider BB Guns).

Canada has no strategic airlift capacity (tanks and vehicles must be disassembled to be transported overseas!) Canada relies on American troops to move theirs around during domestic emergencies.

Of the top 25 countries that have active military forces, Canada does not even rank. This puts them behind such powerhouses like Eritrea, Morocco, and Myanmar. This is to be attributed to Canada's French heritage.

As a related sidenote, an animal closely tied with France is the Rossignol, or rooster, which, as you know, is a male chicken.

They are, however, responsible for the development of our new camouflage schemes. That means they'll be really good at hiding when the balloon goes up.

The only nation with more surface area than Canada is Russia. So you have this huge land mass with a military 27 times smaller than ours.

Oh Canada! We stand on guard for thee!

That's the U.S. singing, btw, not the Canadian Armed Forces.


Anonymous said...

ur a fague

Anonymous said...

Then theres people like you that pretend to act all tough yet are probably some nerd sitting behing a computer.. Hurrah American Heros.. not

Justin said...

Hey buddy, go fight Afghanistan yourself so we can pull our what? 120 man army out?

If you don't stand behind the troops, do the next best thing and stand in front of the troops.

Anonymous said...

Hey the reson that we have so many Inactive troops is because we PEACE keep ( you are probably saying to you self what is that) oh and btw America has spent $532,644,780,000 on the Iraq war alone and it is going up roughly $1,009 A SECOND ( www.zfacts.

Anonymous said...

How’s that sniper record going for guys? Oh that’s right...It's a Canadian record now.

Hey how did your military do getting the hostages out of IRAN years ago? What’s that all your choppers shot down? Funny us Canadians got some of your people out with no loses.

Hey how’s it feel to know while Canada was fighting WW2 you clowns were still making money with the German war machine?

What’s that USA late for TWO world wars?

Oh Hey! Love your D-Day BS...Your BS movies show you guys doing all the work, when in fact it was Canada that gained the most ground...

Rubber bands for our aircraft? #3 in bombs dropped in Bosnia...

Pffft...You’re the joke...all that money and cant finish of your war in IRAQ...pfft shut up

Anonymous said...



...Thats all the typing your worth.

Anonymous said...

hey. who ever the asshole is that said that crap i would like to see them take the placeof our troops! we are cleaning up the mess that the god damn americans left behind!!!

Anonymous said...

Well good sir, some fun facts for you.

The Canadian Snow Birds jet squad beat the American Squad.

Canada also has the world record sniper shot.

I know of one incident in Afghanistan where a American sniper actually handed his rifle to a Canadian while under fire with the comment

" here you know how to use this better than me"

Now these are just some things I'm not interested in going into detail. I'm going to assume (rather safely I think) that you are in-fact a arrogant, ignorant , gun toting, wannabe American.

I say "wannabe American" because you clearly have no concept of how embarrassing it is to read articles like this as another American. To hear you bashing a Country for apparently being peaceful I find somewhat

We (The U.S.) spend more money on our military than we do on education. Now perhaps if you had a good education you might not be so ignorant.

Unfortunately I came across this article a rather long time after it was written.

Anonymous said...

Americans should worry about its own problems like poverty, obesity, and faggotry :)

Anonymous said...

I am Canadian.

I do not like the French people.

I do believe our military is utterly pathetic.

But guess what? Our land mass is bigger but our population is ten times smaller. Less taxpayers less possible soldiers? What do you think the glaciers pay us for being here?

And you know what? I LOVE being able to goto the hospital, recieve medical attention, and leave without a bill.

I respect America and their military. However I do think "Why do you need 3.5 million personnel and 11 carriers to take on the "powerhouse" Afghanistan...a country that has no coastline. And Iraq invaded Kuwait to get to a real costline (First Gulf War).

Now. Please go get some respect. I didn't make an article about your poor education or the fact that your third world rival Cuba has free health care and you don't.

And like Justin said. Go say that to our military. I'm sure they appreciate it. Maybe on Remembrance Day to if you wanna really get the point through.


P.S. its not numbers anymore. And 114 just went up by 65...brand new F-35 STEALTH fighter jets. Isn't that the ones you use to?

Anonymous said...

for Canada's population, it has a pretty good military. And the F-35 stealth raptors, that was engineered and built by a group of countries, america and Canada part of it, tho America did fund most of the developement.
BTW i live in Canada

ro said...

There was an american sniper who killed 2 taliban terrorists in one shot!!! im not sure how for tho... also America actually has better trained snipers\military\weapons...its the truth. the americans could of done it too, they just needed the opotunity. BUT yes I will give credit to the canadian sniper

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you guys noticed yet but the guy that posted the hateful comment about Canada's military is from Alaska. He's not even a real American haha He's probably just angry because he is surrounded by awesome Canadian's and also he lives in a cold place with little daytime hours and he is too broke ass to buy a car to go across BC to make it to see the rest of his "great country"

Anonymous said...

Fun Facts about the Canadian Military;

We mounted the only sucessful land invasion of the US, and lit the White House on fire

Sir Arthur Currie and the Canadian Corp were the lead in the final defeat of the Germans in WW 1

In WW 2 the Canadian Army always accomplished its missions

In Korea the PPCLI held the line in the Pusan perimeter

There would have been no troop surge in Afghanistan if the PPCLI and the RCR hadn't defeat the Taliban in the Battle of Panjwayi

Go fuck yourself and continue to play army with some right wing militia fags

Anonymous said...

Usa is power hungry. i hate them. canada is good we have low armu but state of the art weapontry.

Anonymous said...

Wow! looks like all you Canadian pussy's are showing your sensative side.. Don't even talk about WW2 you little girls were the smallest force there, and did ok with our supplies and support on the BS front. Your whole country is full of liberal pussy's just waiting to be F*@ked. You should go back to sucking Britian off.. By the way we beat them and we saved your gay a$$ french boyfriends in WW2. Signed The U.S. Marines

Anonymous said...

Canada wasn't even a country when the white house was burned. You were Britian loyalist's bitches attached firmly on their limey cock's read some history other than what your uncle told you dumbass. Oh and ya we beat Britain in the end didn't we hahaha you lose again pussy.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA!!! We ended WW2 so I guess we won that one huh.. Fuck canada!

Anonymous said...

You guys are all pathetic, I'm a soldier for the Canadian Forces and if you say what I'm doing doesn't mean anything id fucking knock you out cold. Ive gone through basic training, I had an american friend who transfered over to canadian forces and said the basic training is stricter and better taught then the u.s, our forces arent big but we are better trained as a unit.

Anonymous said...

I'm am a frickin canadian and im PROUD> I don't have anything against the U.S....
I have relatives living there... Just cuz the U.S works its ass of on its army, doesn't make it any better..its actually kind of a shame...it needs to spend more money on EDUCATION so that frickin OBAMA doessn't go around making speeches about how Japanese and Chinese are whooping America's asses in education... You need to learn some respect or have it knocked into you, man.
P.S) If you end up with cancer, wouldn't YOU like to have frickin free healthcare? God...

Anonymous said...

Canadian and proud also, I heavily resent the U.S. due to influence on our people our way of life our military all fucking aspects are critized and prosecuted by the Americans we dont want to be like you we dont need your protection becuase truth is NO ONE HATES US!!

Anonymous said...

And if you want to get into wars the United States was retardedly late for both world wars.-17 year old B.C.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mad Hatter,

your obviuosly american who fears real life, and hides behind a computer screen instead of fighting for freedom.

your facts are wrong. like seriously wrong, and you seem to forget we use to have the largest forces, until we SOLD our aircraft and ships to america.

im sorry dude, but get a life... this is pathetic... we were the ones who saved you guys time and time again.

p.s. i dont hate america, but the fact is:

we aer bigger, and we are on top. if this was prision, then youd be our bitch;)

Anonymous said...

i like justins comment

Anonymous said...

The canadian military normal soilder has just as good traning as a U.S ranger the marines are the biggest mock ever its a bunch of high school drop outs that failed getting into seals an canadian special forces csor,jtf2, TFA are better than any u.s.a special forces unit an canada has some of the best equipment in the world .

Anonymous said...

haha im not an american or a canadian but dude the canadians should spend just a little more and they did fight in afganistan.

Anonymous said...

Americans might be better trained but Canadian soldiers are way more professional and well disciplined, that is all we need to get the job done three times better than Americans that are hated in all countries they go to

Anonymous said...

Canada is better trained because we take the time americans train with us all the time but americans do have the best gear so we are the same lets not forget Winston Churchill once said "If I had American technology, British officers and Canadian soldiers I would rule the world" :) btw yes marines are way over rated and way too full of themselves

Anonymous said...

You've just embarassed all of the United States of America by posting such a rude arrogant blog, and making us out to be assholes. SHAME ON YOU. This is why we are steriotyped as obese shithead fucks you cunt. To all of you Canadians out there that were offended by this blogger, I sincerely appologize for all of us Americans down here, we're not all fat cocky shitfaces.

Anonymous said...

I agree with many of the positive comments above, but I just wanted to point out to the comment posted by the 'U.S. Marine'. (Despite how late this response is, I have no doubt they won't read this.)

The United States won the revolutionary war with heavy technological and some military assistance from the French, who you so passionately hate. Not to forget the Spanish, who aided the rebelling colonies as well.

Anonymous said...

We know your not. Every country has stupid, ignorant people. The truth is it does not matter who's military is stronger because we would never fight each other. I am Canadian and I respect the American army and its people just like I do our own army and our own people.

Anonymous said...

You Americans should be ashamed that your military is 27 times greater than ours, yet they cannot defeat the Al-Qaeda and Taliban, most whom don't even receive proper training. Go fight in Afghanistan yourself before you go around insulting other countries' militaries

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RoundHouse Hunter said...

well ya will get are ass's kicked in a war but when will we ever have a war we made peace with everyone. America is hated world wide because of there cocky loud mouths. we are loved world wide because of are peacekeepers. so have fun fighting off Russia there bigger,better trained. should have made peace like we did.

RoundHouse Hunter said...

Coalition deaths in Afghanistan by country
USA: 2,286*
UK: 445
Canada: 158*
France: 86
Germany: 54
Italy: 48
Denmark: 43
Poland: 38
Australia: 40
Spain: 34*
Georgia: 27
Netherlands: 25
Romania: 21
Turkey: 14
New Zealand: 11
Norway: 10
Estonia: 9
Hungary: 7
Sweden: 5
Czech Republic: 5
Latvia: 3
Finland: 2
Jordan: 2
Portugal: 2
South Korea: 1
Albania: 1
Belgium: 1
Lithuania: 1
Montenegro: 1
Slovakia: 1

TOTAL: 3,389

Paul Williams said...

I'd pit in single Canadian Infantry soldier against any 10 of yours you arrogant American goofs. Take a look over the fence, not many people, or counties like America and it's do this or else foreign policy. By the way you fucks are over 3 trillion dollars in debit to the Communist Chinese, they could call in that debit, you don't pay, they invade you're fucked!!!

Anonymous said...

I read this article to acquire some fun facts about the Canadian military, since my dad is a major general, 1 out of 30 in the Canadian armed forces. Not to hear some dumbass alaskan hillbilly talk shit about our military. Shame on you, we've got the biggest unprotected border in the world, so i guess we're supposed to be allies. Screw you you uneducated Donald Trump disciple. BTW, i'm only twelve and i'm still smarter than you that's all I have to say.

TheCoolGuy Gaming said...

no peacekeeper facts

Anonymous said...

Just another ignorant Yank. Embarrassed that the US had to be bitch slapped to join WW I and II. And then took another bitch slap on 9/11. Canadian were dying for world peace long before Yanks in 1914 and 1939. Or would that be 1917 and 1941 when both wars had already been won by others. Why are we fighting and dying in Afghanistan to help protect these ungrateful cunts? Never needed protection by US forces. Only ever needed protection 'from' US forces. And the odd terrorist that the US harboured and armed (Fenians). Kicked their asses out twice in 1776 and 1812. Burnt down their capital in response to arsonist attacks that killed such folk as an 83 year man in his bed (Port Dover). Beat their asses with pop. ratios of 40-1, then 20-1. Now is 10-1. Maybe time to return the 'favour'.