19 March 2006

Grandma the InstaBaiter!

[A filthy lie flung from the fingers of the Mad Hatter]

So we recently discover that our beloved Rocky-Top singing, puppy-blending, Frank J. punching, hobo-stalking Prince of Legal Murkiness has a softer, more family-oriented side.

He loves spending time with his grandmother. Since apples don't fall far from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good...and Evil...the question naturally arises: Is being an Ɯbelmensch something you inherit?

Read on, true believer, and decide for yourself:
  • She bones up regularly on her hobo-shooting skills:

As seen on Break.com
Aiming for the toodles ensures minimum damage to the hobo pelt. Here's the results from her latest trip to her backyard range:

  • Her wheelchair transforms into a dancing robot
  • Her driveway is lined with the skulls of puppies
  • Her fist clenches at the words "Frank" or "J"
  • She logs onto InstaPundit 10,000 times a day to boost InstaGrandson's online stats
  • Her favorite drink is a Pinscher Colada with a Labrador chaser
  • She lures hobos in with her grandmotherly charm...but the end is gruesome
  • She won recognition by PETA for her volunteer work "sheltering" puppies...if only they knew
  • People Eating Tasty Animals means something different for her
  • ...and it includes hobos
Many shades of darkness run in the Reynolds family...

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