Tomato Product Gymnastics

Brought to you courtesy of Hunt's, MRI, and Federal Cartridge, and your local trigger-happy Southern expat.

I had some cans of various tomato-related products left over from a lasagna meal I had made several months ago. They had expired, and rather than just toss them in the trash, I thought to myself, "Self, these would make for an afternoon's entertainment."

So, I packed up the cans, broke out the Deagle, four magazines, and headed out to the old dump.

On the way, I came across some of our high school students, who had just finished their morning chores over at the cow barn. Naturally, they thought the Deagle was cool. Two of them are from Canada, and since they don't have all the freedoms we do regarding handguns, I thought I'd give them the opportunity to shoot a few rounds.

On the way, the Canadians had all sorts of questions about handguns, and being the teacher that I am, I was more than happy to tell them what I knew. Like explaining to them how a .44 magnum was more powerful than a .45, even though the latter is a slightly larger caliber (answer: bullet weight and powder charge). Or clarifying how it isn't necessarily the platform that makes one handgun more powerful than another as it is the cartridge. And, I introduced them to the old argument of faster-lighter versus slower-heavier.

That was the lecture part. The lab came when we arrived at the dump.

There, we made cans of tomato products do all sorts of interesting tricks.

Like somersaults...



Pirhouettes...



and Back Flips!



Furthermore, we observed the effects of 675 ft.-lbs. of force exerted on a relatively small surface area (approx .44 in) of a 20 oz can of tomato sauce:



As well as the fallout when you hammer a can of tomato paste too close:



At the end, I gave the Canadians a chance to unleash the thunder. This kid was happy to have the chance. He was a little unsure at first, which isn't surprising, since a .44 magnum can be intimidating, but after that first shot, you see the look of "Wow" that comes over his face:



Glad to give them a taste of the freedoms we enjoy on this side of the border!